Sonia always hated alcohol growing up. Even when she turned 18 and started going to the pub with her friends, she was the one drinking fruit juice or Coca Cola. At the time, people seemed to respect that she could still go out and have a good time without drinking, while everyone else was getting drunk.
But in her early twenties, Sonia was in a relationship that went completely wrong and she ended up seeking comfort in alcohol.
“At first, I thought it would just be a stage I would grow out of. But it continued right up until I turned 30.”
Her spiralling addiction was particularly difficult for her friends and family. As a British Asian woman, issues such as addiction were rarely discussed in Sonia’s community. The stigma she was experiencing made her feel like she couldn’t talk about it or seek help. Sonia found out that her parents had even received letters from neighbours asking her family to move away with her because her drinking was bringing shame on them and the community. This stigma led Sonia to suppress her feelings of angst for many years.
“I now believe that if I had talked about my problems at the time or as soon as I started drinking too much, it would have saved me a lot of emotional pain. But I was good at shutting things out and running away from reality, and I think this is why my problems manifested themselves in drinking. Drinking was escapism, a way to forget reality.”
After studying journalism at university, Sonia dreamed of becoming a sports journalist. But whilst battling addiction, she wasn’t truly able to thrive in her career and found it hard to hold down a job. She became the youngest-ever sports editor and first-ever female British Asian sports editor in London. But although she knew these jobs were amazing, she had little motivation to stay in them.
“I just didn’t want to get out of bed or wash my hair and brush my teeth – which sounds disgusting to me now because I’m so conscious of my health!”
When she was 27, Sonia began working for a newspaper called the Trinity Mirror (now the Reach Mirror). This job completely changed her life in the best way possible. Sonia’s colleagues noticed that something wasn’t right with her drinking, and would reassure her but say that the amount she was drinking sometimes made her come in late or call in sick.
“They tried to support me, telling me that I had a great job that I deserved and shouldn’t let my drinking ruin it. It was the first time colleagues had commented on my drinking or its impact on my work. Having people genuinely care about me was eye-opening, and they became my support network. They helped me realise that I had a problem, but also to see myself as an asset who was good at the job I loved.”
In 2012, the year she turned 30, Sonia’s drinking visibly got out of hand, and she got signed off from work for two weeks. She used this time to think about what she wanted to do, and she decided to go sober.
“I realised that there is only so much you can take; only so much shouting and anger you can push onto people that don’t deserve it.”
Sonia knew that she could contact an organisation or her GP for help, but with the help of her support network, she managed to get sober on her own. When she returned to work, Sonia was strong enough to head out to the bars on Canary Wharf and order alcohol-free drinks. She managed to stay sober for three years, but relapsed due to the stress of her mother’s cancer diagnosis.
In 2018, after leaving Trinity Mirror and joining Talk Sport, Sonia gave being sober another attempt. As part of her recovery, she started doing a lot of running as well as really throwing myself into sports. She’s now developing a documentary, “Running with my mind”, about how running and sports were a major motivation in her ongoing recovery and mental wellbeing.
Since 2018, Sonia’s career has continued to take off and she has been successfully freelancing in sports PR with Slick Sports Consultancy. She’s also had lots of opportunities to speak publicly about her experiences with alcohol, including a feature on Zee TV – the biggest British Asian TV channel.
“As a British Asian woman, appearing on Zee TV was significant because it reaches people who don’t often talk about these kinds of issues. The response I had was phenomenal and the messages from other Asian women relating to my story didn’t stop. I’m continuing to encourage British Asian women to seek help and share their stories and realise they have nothing to feel ashamed about. Nobody should feel defined by their past, but at the same time I’m aware that it has shaped me into the woman I am today and I’m incredibly proud of that. People mistakenly think addicts can’t be successful or have a great career, but my story is testament that you can and that addiction can affect anyone.”
