Lisa was the eldest of three daughters with dauntingly impressive parents. Her father had come out of apartheid in South Africa and won scholarships at Oxford and Harvard. Her mother was an American PR professional working for actors like Bob Hope.
Lisa discovered at an early age that food and drugs took away her feelings of self-hatred and insecurity. She was constantly trying new ways to alter her feelings to get to the stage where she could feel nothing.
“Comparing myself to these high-achievers, I never felt good enough. My family life was fractured, with my father having a number of affairs and my mother being a compulsive worker who buried her feelings in her job and the whisky bottle.”
Prescription drugs were available to her. Diet pills numbed her feelings but left Lisa manic, so her mum’s Valium helped her to come down. With recreational drugs, Lisa started taking cannabis at 14 years old.
“It was illegal and I thought I was a rebel – it felt cool. By 17, I was using coke, heroin and whatever pills were available. As a total control freak, I thought that whatever I took, I could handle. I told myself that others had a problem, but I won’t. I will still be able to work and won’t let the drugs get the better of me. How wrong I was!”
The first few times Lisa did heroin, she threw up everywhere. Eventually, she was quickly mentally, physically and emotionally addicted. Drugs took over her life. Any job Lisa had went by the wayside – her film career, restaurant work, retail – everything. She couldn’t hold down any relationship, including with her family.
Around 22 years old, Lisa tried to stop a couple of times, including signing up for Methadone scripts under a false name and swapping one addiction for another, but it didn’t work.
“Every time I tried to stop and couldn’t, I felt a sense of failure, hated myself more and this led to further drug taking. During this period, I had managed to land the film job of my dreams, but I overdosed halfway through filming.”
One morning, in her mid-twenties, Lisa realised enough was enough and she couldn’t do this anymore. A friend of hers had been to rehab in Broadway Lodge, but there was no help from the state at this time and people had to pay privately. She knew she had to go to her dad and ask for money.
Lisa had treatment at Broadway Lodge for about eight weeks and then had four more weeks in a halfway house in Weston-Super-Mare. She began a twelve-step programme and got stronger and stronger. At about 26, Lisa began working as a cashier in a restaurant, her first job in early recovery.
“I found myself short-changing people, like I used to do to fund my drug-taking, and engaging in all the behaviours I used to do when I was using, like self-sabotaging and sleeping with my friends’ boyfriends. The difference this time is that I could share all this in my twelve-step meetings and not be judged.”
Slowly, very slowly, Lisa began to change.
She eventually started working again in the film industry that she loved. In 1990, Lisa started her own company, Cowboy Films, and was very successful. They produced ground-breaking music videos for bands such as The Cure, David Bowie and The Psychedelic Furs. One of the films she produced was ‘The Last King of Scotland’, which won an Academy Award and many BAFTAs.
Lisa also fell in love with somebody who loved her for her, didn’t abuse her and had an incredible zest for life – they are still married 25 years later.
“I will always remember the horror of having to inject myself with IVF drugs when trying for a baby in my late 30s, but I got through it with support from my friends in recovery. Anything was now possible. At 40 years old, I gave birth to my wonderful twin boys and had never before felt the unconditional love that I feel for them.”
Shortly after producing ‘The Last King of Scotland’, Lisa was able to pull back from my film career to bring up her boys. She has since been able to get involved with all sorts of other ventures in education and mental health for young adults. Lisa co-founded the London Screen Academy, a sixth form academy that opened in September 2019 for 16 to 19-year-olds in London who have a passion for film and television. She wanted to bring real diversity to the film and TV industry and the academy funds young people from difficult backgrounds who would never have dreamed they could get into the industry. Lisa is also a Governor and a Trustee for a number of schools and charities, including The Forward Trust.
“I still wake up every day feeling a bit fearful, but am raring to go after my shower and take the good days with the bad – one step at a time. I have not used drugs for 38 years. If there is some advice I can give to others stuck in the cycle of addiction, it would be never feel too ashamed, scared or worthless to ask for help. We have a recognised illness… the illness of addiction. There is help available if you reach out for it.”
